Monday was Labor Day, the unofficial end of summer. And we're all feeling a renewed sense of optimism about the job market, right? If not, cheer up!
The first candy corn of the season is out, and we all know there ain't nothin' funnier'n placing two candy corn kernels over your front teeth and flashing a big yellow smile around the office. Alas, if you're one of those who doesn't find that as amusing as I do, perhaps these humorous job-related sayings will help bring a smile (albeit not a big yellow-toothed smile) to your face as you work on your resumes, cover letters, and interview techniques:
Napping at Work
Researchers at Harvard say that taking a power nap for an hour in the afternoon can totally refresh you. They say that by the time you wake up you'll feel so good, you'll be able to start looking for a new job.
Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
—Scott Adams ("Dilbert")
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
—Henry David Thoreau
The Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Not Liking Your Job
If you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
Dates vs. Job Interviews
A date is a job interview that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is that there are not many job interviews where there's a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.
Hope you enjoyed those. Oh, by the way, it may be a bad idea to do the yellow candy-corn teeth thing in a job interview. (Just thought I'd mention that.)
How to Blow the Interview Before You Say a Word
Resume Writing Basics: Building Blocks of a Good Resume
Cover Letter Basics: 5 Steps to a Top-Notch Letter
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