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I Resemble That Remark: Why You're Not Getting Offers

May 08, 2008 (10:00AM) by Julie O'Malley, CPRW

Not too long ago, a post on the Career Hub blog turned me on to the hilarious web site Not Hired, which gives positive proof that sometimes it's your own damn fault you're not getting hired. All kidding aside, if you're getting interviews but not job offers, maybe it's time to examine your speech patterns. Plenty of words and phrases that we use every day without thinking (and without malice) can be hurtful, hateful, or just plain offensive to others. And dropping an insensitive remark in an interview can cost you the job.

"That's so retarded!"

How did that statement make you react?



  • If you don't happen to know anyone with neurological or cognitive differences, it may just sound like a harmless, if flippant, way to make a point.
  • But if you're the parent, sibling, relative, or friend of anyone with an autistic spectrum disorder, or Down Syndrome, or a traumatic brain injury, or any of the other conditions that people tend to lump under the heading of "retarded," it probably struck you like a kick to the gut. Let something like that slip in an interview, and your candidacy will meet an early demise.

For an in-depth look at this topic, check out the Sensitive Language page of the Words@Random (as in Random House) site. As they point out, you need to be aware of "patronizing or demeaning expressions" and "language that excludes or unnecessarily emphasizes differences."

Specifically, they mention gender, race, ethnicity, national origin, and age. And I'd like to add religion and size to that list.

Here are a few examples of biased remarks that seem positive at first, but then make you stop and think, "Hey, wait a minute!"



  • "Men are such simple creatures, they're a lot easier to manage."
  • "Those people are so warm and family-oriented, I bet she'll make a nice coworker."
  • "This girl I worked with was such a computer whiz."
  • "The old guy in accounting has a great collection of vintage sports memorabilia."
  • "Hey, Big Guy, can you tell me where the vending machines are?"

I hope you will clean up your language in all aspects of your life, because we could all use some more acceptance and understanding. After all, outside of Hollywood, hardly anybody meets the societally ingrained gold standard of being a tall, white, Anglo-Saxon Protestant, thin, able-bodied, clear-complected, heterosexual young male with good social skills, lots of money, and a full head of fabulous hair.

But I'm not the PC police, nor am I perfect in my own speech patterns; I'm just a career advice blogger. You can do and say whatever you like.

All I'm saying is that if you're landing interviews, your resume and cover letter are doing their jobs. If those interviews aren't turning into job offers, it may be something you said.

Ever heard (or made) a verbal blooper in an interview? Please share!

Comments (2)

That's funny - I once had an interview where I was flown half way across the country and spent six hours interviewing with eight different people. One of the people that interviewed me was an older woman who was very close to retirement.

She was asking me several questions that I knew were being asked to reveal my character. So I simply told her, "Don't worry, I have no body piercings, tatoos, or anything weird like that..." I figured that would show her that I was a conservitive type, which I thought she would appreciate.

A couple of days later I spoke with the hiring manager and she told me that my comment about body piercings caused quite a stir with that older woman because apparently she had just had an argument with her daughter just prior to that day because her daughter had just gotten some piercings and a few tatoos.

I ended up getting the position, though, and that woman and I were able to laugh about it later.

Posted by: Joey Z. | May 08, 2008 at 11:39 AM | Quote This Comment
Joey Z: Your story gave me a chuckle, but it also raises a great point: know your audience. Piercings and tattoos are so mainstream today that things could have gone the other way if your interviewer (rather than her daughter) had been the one who'd just gotten a new tattoo. But it seems you correctly assessed the situation. Nicely done. -- Julie
Posted by: Julie O'Malley | May 08, 2008 at 12:00 PM | Quote This Comment

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