Pongo Resume

With apologies to David Letterman, here's my list of top 10 things you should not put in a resume (in bold), followed by possible responses from employers – well, more likely kept to themselves:

1) Took time management seminar
Response: "Did you have a problem managing your time? You won't here."

2) Organized office football pool for 5 years
Response: "Hmmm, last I checked, that wasn't in the job description."

3) References available upon request
Response: "Thanks. If we're interested, we'll ask for them."

4) Email: ilikesbeer@address.com
Response: "Thank you for sharing. Circular file!"

5) Saved company money
Response: "Well, that's nice. But how much?"

6) Didn't work for six months due to medical condition
Response: "Legally, I can't ask about this, but since you volunteered this information, I'm off the hook."

7) Thirty years with just one company
Response: "So, why do you want to make a change now?"

8) OBJECTIVE: Accounting position
Response: I like reading resumes as much as I like doing my taxes, so make it easier on me and give me more information.

9) Was president of college fraternity
Response: "Wonder if he knows the `ilikesbeer' guy?"

10) Verry detail-focussed
Response: "Yeah right! ‘Nuff said."

Let's hear from you! If you've been a hiring manager or are one now, what resume faux pas have caused you to laugh, shake your head in amazement, or wonder how some people wind up getting hired? And, on the other side, have you ever made an embarrassing error in your resume that you later corrected, either on your own or after someone brought it to your attention?

Jump into the discussion. There are people out there whose careers you may wind up saving!

It was later clarified that they meant landscaping!

That brings up another good point: Do NOT write anything in your resume that may be taken the wrong way. For instance, if you're a photographer, don't say you like to "shoot people."

You just brought back a bad memory! I once submitted my resume for an entry-level *editorial* position, got called for an interview, met with the managing editor, then the editor-in-chief, and finally the publisher, who was kind enough to mention that I had a TYPO in my resume. Apparently I had impressed them in other ways, because they hired me as an editor even though my resume indicated that my background "emcompassed" certain skills (this was 1985 and my TYPEWRITER didn't have a spell checker).

Lesson Learned: Always have someone else proof your resume! -Julie

Even editors arent *perrfect* with their spelling all the time. ;-)

Rick

In either case I wouldn't want to hire someone like that!

Thanks very much for your comments. You raise a good point about the job market today: When it comes to computer skills, you need to be specific, such as "Proficient with Adobe Photoshop" or "Expert with various desktop publishing applications" if you're an end user. On the technical end, you need to cite any certifications you might have, such as with Java or Microsoft's .Net, or maybe networking skills.

As we work in the Information Economy, you need to be very aware of your skills and determine which of them can set you apart from the competition. After all, most of today's jobs involve some use of information technology.

- Rick

"what hours is this for and where are you located.

Thanks"

Needless to say that resume went in the 'NO' file and I attached the email. (No capitalization, no question mark, didn't address me, left out their salary requirements, obviously didn't read the signature line and considering they sent me their resume to ask where I am?)

Your story reminds me of two things:

(1) Don't be casual when responding to a potential employer. Always be professional in any correspondence. (2) Log important information about every resume you send and each inquiry you make so that you can pick up where you left off more easily. The job seeker who does this well would have at least looked up your location, the things he or she stressed in the resume, and the information found in the job posting (Pongo users: The TRACKER tool records when and to whom you send all your resumes and cover letters, and which versions you send.).

As the saying goes: Proper preparation prevents poor performance.

- Rick

'nuff said yeah?

Slang on an application is inappropriate and so is having your friends "hanging out" with you while you are working.

You don't need to disclose a disability, especially if it has nothing to do with the job. What protects you is that federal law says, in most cases, an employer can't discriminate against a disabled person in its hiring decisions For more details, see this goverment document: http://www.ada.gov/cguide.pdf (It's also available in HTML). This comes from the document: The government "prohibits discrimination in recruitment, hiring, promotions, training, pay, social activities, and other privileges of employment. It restricts questions that can be asked about an applicant’s disability before a job offer is made, and it requires that employers make reasonable accommodation to the known physical or mental limitations of otherwise qualified individuals with disabilities, unless it results in undue hardship. ..."

Some companies even go so far in their job ads to state what a job's requirements are so that the applicant can get a good idea whether he or she can do the job, even with a physical impairment.

Hope this helps! ~ Rick

I have epilepsy. For years, I made the mistake of disclosing in every interivew, or on the first week of the job, what to do in case I had a seizure. There was no need to because my seizures were years apart. However, when I asked for advice, every Joe Average American told me I was obligated to tell them I had epilepsy just in case. I didn't get any jobs until I stopped telling people I had epilepsy in the interview. When I told in the first week, I was often fired the day after I disclosed that I had epilepsy.

Your job in the interview is to demonstrate that you can do the job, not a full disclosure of every issue that might occur. Disclosure at this point makes disability the dominant status and an automatic discard. However, after they have worked with you for some time and viewed your personality and skills without knowing about a condition upfront, they will have something affirmative to compare with the disability.

Dont fear the possible reaction, "How DARE you not tell us?!?" If you ever are asked why you didn't disclose information, let them know there was no need to. Affirm that you are able to perform the job. A response after this might start with, "But what if???" and then describing a hypothetical sitatuion. Continue to politely affirm your ability to perform the job.

Your story reminds me of a quote that came out of the Cold War: "Trust, but verify." Do the same after you have used a spell checker.

~ Rick

Yes, you are very correct. While social networking sites allow us enhance our professional credentials, it's the flip side that can get us into trouble. That's why we all need to think twice before we post. My colleague, Brianna Raymond, offered some excellent advice earlier this year about policing yourself online. Here's the link: http://www.pongoresume.com/blogPosts/136/5-ways-to-cover-your-web-tracks.cfm

Best, ~ Rick

First, assuming you know yourself and your skills well, and what you want in a job or career, make sure each resume you send is tailored for a specific position that interests you. Use your Objective or Summary to highlight the skills you have that will make you a worthy candidate.

Second, outline your experience over the last 15 years, placing special emphasis on accomplishments that reflect those skills.

Third, if you have done anything even remotely related to the job you're seeking - either paid or volunteer work - make sure that's noticeable.

Since you're making a career switch, I would also advise you to have three or four professional and personal references who can be ready to vouch for your skills, your character and your work ethic. Someone who is going to *take a chance* on you would want to make sure you're worth the investment.

One more thing: Saying that you're "teachable" is fine, but in many cases, especially with larger firms, employers are skittish about hiring someone who needs a "long learning curve." Tell them very clearly that you will do whatever it takes to ramp up quickly.

Best of luck! ~ Rick

The second, when asked on the application to describe her best asset, wrote a detailed description of her pickup truck. I got a good laugh, but she did not get the job.

Thanks very much for dropping in. You can't overstate the importance of having your resume proofread (Check out Brianna's latest post - which went up today), as well as not leading your husband into potential temptation.

And I guess some people take the word "asset" literally. ;-)

Best ~ Rick

I have a great poem that will open the eys of those who rely on spellchecker. I wish I knew the author.

Spellbound

I have a spelling checker It came with my PC. It plainly marks four my revue Mistakes eye cannot sea. I've run this poem threw it, I'm sure your please too no. Its letter perfect in it's weigh, My checker tolled me sew.

Thankks for the endorssmint and the poem, as well as the reminder that I need to coach socker practiss tonite (after 5:00)! :-))

Best, ~ Rick

Thank you for the advise and overall this is a great post with valuable comments; all of which i can learn from. I do have some additional questions in which I could use some input.

1. Instead of using "reference upon request" what should I say?

2. My professional experience is limited. I am only 4 years out of college and maintained the same job throughout. However, during said time, I started 2 companies on my own (still active) and while they may not be cash cows, I gained a lot of experience that would be valuable to a prospective employer. My questions is. Do i include those 2 companies. I am wary a employer might see that as a time commitment issue or something like that. Any thoughts?

In response to your questions:

(1) "References upon request" -- Don't say anything! You know they'll likely be asking for and checking references. Just be ready with the names and contact information for 3 or 4 people whom you know will sing your praises.

(2) It depends on whether and how the experience relates to the position you're applying for. If, as you say, they aren't cash cows, think of the products or services you deliver. Do you deliver on time? How are your customer service skills? How effectively have you marketed your businesses? etc. Think of the core skills that are required of you to sustain those businesses, and how those skills line up with the core skills of the position you're applying for.

Hope this helps! ~ Rick

Most sincerely, Teresa

I hear you, and thanks for the personal perspective from your industry. Unless the job ad specifically states that the company wants references, I'd still leave them out of the resume. Rather, if you're called in for an interview, prepare a sheet of paper with the names and contact information for three or four people who will "sing." Generally, employers will want to call them only if they would like to extend a job offer to you.

College education or not, your experience should be able to speak for itself.

Additionally, if you're into social networking at all - notably LinkedIn.com - try to score some recommendations from clients or former co-workers. They can speak volumes, especially for companies that would rather forgo reference checks in favor of doing web searches on people they want to hire.

Hope this helps! ~ Rick

I am a seasoned professional with 9 years in the IT field. I have worked as an account manager and project manager in a very diverse environment. All of this time has been spent with a large, well known service delivery outsourcing company. I am also PMP certified. I have sent in my resume for various positions and have not been contacted for any reputable positions. I have only been called for contract work and by head hunters. I have gone over my resume repeatedly and cannot find anything that stands out as inappropriate or find any typos, etc. Any thoughts on what might be going on?

Thanks in advance, Marian

Thanks for writing. It's hard for me to see what's happening with your resume. From what you describe, think about the following:

(1) Is your best stuff near the top of the resume? Does your professional summary describe the "value" you can bring to a company and does it highlight any important skills and certifications? Your PMP certification should be prominently mentioned, especially if you're applying for a project management position.

(2) Does your experience promote your accomplishments more than your duties? Explain how you solved problems for previous employers? Did you beat deadlines for important projects? Did you come in under budget? Did you work on more than one successful project simultaneously?

(3) Have you "custom fit" your resume to match the description of each job you apply for? The more the content of your resume matches words and phrases with the job description, the more likely your resume will get noticed.

Hope this helps! ~ Rick

I have had part-time employment in retail off and on during my absence, because the hours were more flexible, but I want full time employment in an office setting again.

I have bought software to brush up on my typing skills, as well as, reacquainting myself with word processing and other office procedures. I am computer literate and I am willing to learn or be trained in new requirements.

I am trying to write my resume and I'm not sure how to start. I also have a unique problem that I need suggestions on how to handle. Every company (other than the Army) that I have been employed with in a clerical type position has gone out-of-business. The only references I would have if a prospective employer asked for them, would be personal. There are retail employers that would be able to verify I worked for them, but the managers I worked with at the time are gone.

If anyone has any suggestions or ideas on how I should start, I would greatly appreciate them.

Thanks for your comment! I'm jumping in on Rick's post because this topic is near and dear to me. (I, too, faced the hurdle of re-entry after many years.) Your situation is so common I decided it deserved a whole blog post of its own!

Please see my post for 12/17/08 titled: "How to Write a Resume When You Haven't Worked for Years." (I used you as my example ;)

Best of luck, Julie O'Malley, CPRW

After 28 years of employment with one company, I find myself wanting a change. Why wouldn't I put that on my resume, I am proud of my work history with this company!

Thank you in advance,

Karen

Thanks for dropping by. You have every reason to be proud of your long work history with just one company. Allow me to clarify my statement with these points:

* Hiring managers appreciate loyalty, but they will also be wary of someone who has been used to being part of one "work culture" for such a long time. Unless your company has fallen on hard times (and it's well known outside company walls), be prepared to explain to another employer why you want to make the switch. It's rare today to find an employee with such a lengthy tenure. Employers are used to seeing resumes showing experience at several companies over the last 15-20 years of a person's career.
* If you've held different positions with the company, especially if you were promoted during those 28 years, give each position a separate heading in your resume along with a list of your top accomplishments in each position.
* To guard yourself against an employer who might find you "too old" or "too experienced," account for only the last 15 years on your resume. You can put the prior work under "other experience" or something similar. Employers are chiefly interested in your most recent work history.

Hope this helps!

Best regards, ~ Rick

Thank you for any advise you may give,

Mary

I've never worked in sales, but I'll give it my best shot.

The first thing I'd want to know is if you have strong telephone skills. Can you articulate well? Can you explain the company's products or services clearly to a customer over the phone? What percentage of your previous clients kept coming back with more business? How well do you listen to customers and potential customers? Think back to previous successes you had that came about by phone rather than face to face and stress those in your resume and cover letter.

Also, how well do you know call center technology that you will likely have to use?

If I were in HR, that's the kind of stuff I'd be looking for given your extensive sales experience.

Good luck! ~ Rick

Additionally, I have more hospital time coming up, including a week or so of assessment and a possible future surgery to alleviate the epilepsy.

I don't know how to find a job, with so many issues-- future absences especially. I'll go into an interview or start a job and then say, "I can do the job but I need a week off and then more time when it comes to surgery????" I have some ideas still about maybe working in the hospitals as a maintenance person or somewhere else that my plumbing ticket could benefit me but I'm stuck trying to write a good resume.

When they want 'accomplishments' on a resume and not just 'activities' how does a plumber say that? 'Cut and glued pipe' 'Cut and threaded gas pipe' Yeeehah. I have no idea how much money I save my employers. I am very reliable and pride myself on being there every day, on time. I want to work and could benefit from help. Anyone. I have a house and family... Thank you.

I would treat it all as one job, assuming your service has been uninterrupted over the last 14 years. List the name of the current employer. In a brief description of the job after you state your title, offer a *brief* history of the ownership changes. For example:

PROMINENT SOFTWARE COMPANY....1995-present

Job Title (Hired originally by ABC Company, which later merged with DEF Company, then GHI Company, which was bought by Prominent in 2008).

Hope this helps! Good luck! ~ Rick

Yes, you list it as "1995-2009." As for your layoff, don't mention it in the cover letter or resume. (They might assume it if they see "1995-2009.") If they ask you, don't be down about it or even appear desperate. Just say you're no longer employed full time, yet looking for the next career opportunity. If yours was part of a mass layoff, simply saying you were part of a "reduction in force" should clarify that.

Don't express any bitterness toward your former employer about the layoff either. Keep it positive!

~ Rick

Yet, if I were a hiring manager, I'd try to find a little more information about you through a web search.

~ Rick

It's been 6 years since i taught at a public school. I worked as a professional substitute, because I wanted to get into a variety of schools, and good subs are always needed. I had a lot of crazy experiences, but I like thinking on muy feet, and winging it at the same time. Gaining control of thirty eighth graders, is a challenge I mastered. Of course, i wanted a contract position, but that didn't happen.

I also bartended for many years. Yeah, I'm a glutton for punishment, but I need work. I can offer loads of experience when it comes to handling chaos, or groups of people looking for a leader, structure. What would you suggest in seeking a different career, but using my education, and life experience.

Natural ability to inspire people, with a sense of humor, I accomplish my goals. I also am creative in designing original activities, whether in the classroom, or at a board meeting.

Were there really several?!? Most were intentional, but I did find two (June 30, 2009, plus the one you quoted - "advice") and corrected them.

Thanks for letting me know! ~ Rick

The second item is a bit tricky. You can focus on "seeking a new challenge." Leave the pay cut aside for the moment and turn the loss of a project into a positive by saying "I'm looking for something more challenging in an environment where I can make a difference. The key here is to not bad-mouth your current employer.

I used to work for a large non-profit that had offices in Africa. One of my jobs was reading over resumes for a position we had open in are Uganda office. Every applicant from Uganda (about 200 of them) attached a picture of themselves on the top right hand side of the resume

If you want to move to a company in the same industry, such a notation may not even be necessary if they knew what happened internally at your company after the acquisition.

Good luck! Hope this helps! ~ Rick

One picture is burned in my memory. The young man had a picture of himself drinking a cup of coffee in a Starbucks-type place. The coffee cup is huge, and covers most of his face. It was the most ridiculous, unprofessional photo I've ever seen. Every single hiring manager that saw it, laughed.

So if a photo is customary, like with these college students, please make sure it's decent. A smiling headshot works just fine!

Also, these posts on spelling errors are valuable. I'm going to share them with my teenage daughter who texts quite a bit.

@ Joyce - I would list only the courses and workshops if they enhance your qualifications for the job you're seeking. Yes, they may show initiative, but anything in the resume that goes beyond the qualifications for the job may not help your chances.

Thanks for your feedback on the spelling posts! They can help keep teenage texters on the str8 and naro. (Sorry! Couldn't resist! :-) )

1) Took time management seminar Response: "Did you have a problem managing your time? You won't here." My Response: I'm okay with someone wanting to improve their time management skills. That's nothing to be ashamed of. There was a study on how much money lost time costs companies.

2) Organized office football pool for 5 years Response: "Hmmm, last I checked, that wasn't in the job description."

My Response: I agree that this isn't resume worthy but, I would be okay with it on the application if the question was about social skills with co-workers or hobbies. Have a little fun at work!

3) References available upon request Response: "Thanks. If we're interested, we'll ask for them." My response: I know this is old school stuff. However, a reference list is as standard as a cover letter. Again, too much cynicism.

4) E-mail: ilikesbeer@address.com Response: "Thank you for sharing. Circular file!" My Response: Agreed. Unprofessional emails will send the wrong signals. That email should be for friends only and the person should open up a new email address. By the way, the circular file can be against the law. You may want to read up on Title VII.

5) Saved company money Response: "Well, that's nice. But how much?" My Response: I agree. Applicants should state how much saved and over what time period.

6) Didn't work for six months due to medical condition Response: "Legally, I can't ask about this, but since you volunteered this information, I'm off the hook." My Response: Incorrect. Legally, you can ask but, not to delve into it further after the person says medical. I feel bad for the person that did that. That's more of an application explanation for why there are breaks in employment.

7) Thirty years with just one company Response: "So, why do you want to make a change now?" My response: What a horrible response. How about downsizing, company closed, etc? Did you write this stuff on the fly Rick or were you having a bad hair day? Be a realist to today's economy.

8) OBJECTIVE: Accounting position Response: I like reading resumes as much as I like doing my taxes, so make it easier on me and give me more information. My Response: Yes, the objective needs to say more. Generally, the objective is not as necessary on the resume because it can be equally stated on the cover letter.

9) Was president of college fraternity Response: "Wonder if he knows the `ilikesbeer' guy?" My response: Another bad response. Being President of a College fraternity doesn't mean partying all the time. Totally shooting from the hip. Actually, there are many positive college fraternities that teach students about real-life scenarios. They are a wonderful networking hub as well.

10) Verry detail-focussed Response: "Yeah right! ‘Nuff said." My Response: If I understand this correctly, the person made a typo or did you do it Rick? Unfortunately, typos are inexcusable. The best advice is to have friends, family members, etc look over your resume and be open to their suggestions.

I'm not trying to slam you Rick. If you are going to provide advice on dos and don't on resumes, do it in a fashion that reflects your professionalism. This is a public forum and you wouldn't want the wrong person taking your post the wrong way if they did a search on you. Always put your best foot forward no matter what so, you wouldn't have to answer for it somewhere down the line. That also goes for all of you that posted an inappropriate analysis of applicant's mistakes.

You make a good point on fraternities. But the secret lies in the details. If there's anything a job applicant did as president of a fraternity that helps his chances at landing a job (leadership skills, perhaps?), then go ahead and put it in the resume. But if the position stands alone without any accomplishments, that doesn't add value. In fact, it may well reinforce the negative stereotype people have of college fraternities.

Best regards, ~ Rick

Hope that made sense! I appreciate any help!

In your cover letter, you might also want to include a comment or two from professors on the significance of the coursework and how your performance has been up to that point.

Good luck! Hope this helps!

@ Linda -- I'd either explain the gap in the cover letter (e.g., "I'm looking to re-enter the job market after being at home with my children for the last seven years.") or briefly in your Professional Summary. If you want to get hired as an engineer again, just be sure you're current on industry practices and necessary certifications.

XXX College -- Earned XX credits toward a degree in _____________

If you had a strong GPA - such as 3.5 or above on a 4.0 scale, use it! Or if you had a very high GPA on courses within your major, use that too!

The bottom line is that you're demonstrating you went to college. You didn't earn your degree (yet?) but you attended.

Otherwise, I think that having operated your own business can work in your favor because you gain insight into the other aspects of business operations that you may not have been familiar with before.

This previous Pongo post could also answer some questions for you: http://www.pongoresume.com/blogPosts/357/tips-for-business-owners-returning-to-the-workforce.cfm

Best of luck! Let me know if I can help further! ~ Rick

Best of luck! ~ Rick

'Nuff is a slang version of "enough," often coupled with "said." It was intentional.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for writing!

Hope this helps!

However, I plan to downsize my freelancing operations when I get a full time position because I can't find good clients in my area and I'm hemorrhaging money doing it. Is there anyway to portray that I've been doing this without giving them such negative connotation that?

Best of luck!

I currently work in a JSA as a trainer. Part of my role is writing resumes. However, I only have templates that I work from and I'm not sure if they are any good, I find my job seekers have some luck but not much. I've been looking online for hits and tips.

Can I access resumes from somewhere on this website? I've had a look but have not been able to find any so far.

I only do resumes for people with few skills and/or many jobs, mostly in the labouring, retail, administration and hospitality fields. Some of my clients have been out of the work force for many years for many, many different reasons. How can I fill in these gaps? Especially when it is something like they've been in jail?

Because we are a resume building site, we do not have sample templates. You can certainly take a look at the templates that we have by creating an account through the Get Started button on our home page.

To address gaps on resumes, it is important to show how the candidate remained engaged in the field while they were out of work and what transferrable skills they may have picked up. For more information, please take a look at our blog on addressing gaps in your resume here: http://www.pongoresume.com/blogPosts/125/-so-about-this-gap-in-your-resume-.cfm