Who would put manure dodge ball on their resume? Dwight K. Schrute would! And manure dodge ball is just one of the exciting recreational activities he boasts about to co-workers.
It's amazing how much material you can find on his life at Dunder Mifflin (and then some), if you just look in the right places. I got all the information I needed on Dwight from Wikipedia, Trip Advisor, and NBC's web site, to create a totally imaginary, just-for-fun version of his resume. Here's a taste:
SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS
- Star salesman, beet farmer, bed & breakfast proprietor, aspiring freelance bodyguard, office building owner, and former assistant [to the] regional manager
- Able to vanquish customer resistance through physically imposing alpha-male traits and insatiable, merciless, jackhammer-like techniques
- 13-time winner of Salesman of the Month award in 2005 and Salesman of the Year
- Leader and mentor of underlings
- Expert in martial arts weaponry, paintball, and pre-industrial German
Want more? Check out the rest of his faux-resume here.
Did I nail his character or miss the boat? Post your comments below!