Pongo Blog | Jobless? Sometimes You Gotta Leggo Your Ego

This post is written by Jessee (pictured), a guest blogger. She's a working professional and the author of the blog BusterPeach. Her career has endured four cross-country moves, two layoffs, a major merger, and the launch of three startups – all with just two employers. While her expertise lies in contact center operations management, she has focused heavily on employee training and development and is especially passionate about coaching soft skills and sales performance.

Searching for a new job when you are gainfully employed can sometimes be demoralizing. When you're laid off, however, a job search descends into the act of thrashing about for a life raft. Your ego takes a hard hit and emotions can take over.

I was laid off on January 2, 2009. Not only did it suck to be kicked off the team, but it made me wonder how I would keep the lights on and the children fed. I wondered how to address the gap in my work history. I was angry that people who still have jobs are looking for jobs. I also wondered how big a paycheck the devil would offer me for my soul.

Compounding the ego issue, there were no openings at my level. My husband and I did some life-math to determine if I needed a job or the job. Lowering my standards quickly became compulsory. With more layoffs looming in my job market, there was pressure to act fast. My bruised ego did not immediately buy into the rush to under-sell myself into under-employment.

To better explain it to my ego, I crafted a list of pros and cons:

Health insurance vs. COBRA rates;
Staying busy vs. daytime television mush-brain;
Growing my network vs. growing my waistline;
Learning a new industry vs. stalking innocent recruiters;
Shorter commute vs. no commute;
Better schedule vs. no schedule; and
Money vs. no money.

I stopped waiting for a miracle and started applying — and jogging. Ultimately, something is better than nothing, so I stuffed my ego in a closet.

Caught off guard one afternoon, I took a call from a recruiter. She quickly asked why I had applied for a job that I seemed overqualified for, considering my (considerably higher) previous salary and experience. I wanted to say "Funny, my ego wants to know too," but I paused, waiting patiently for the words to come. The pause got awkward as I struggled to keep my ego quiet. My brain shrieked, "You're blowing it!" and I suddenly pictured my pros and cons. I apparently mustered something coherent, because she scheduled an interview.

To prevent my starving ego from devouring my tongue again the next time I faced this question, I "scripted" my pros to demonstrate that I have considered my options carefully and I'm a go-getter with commitment on my mind (they even convinced my ego a little):

"I'm interested in this position for reasons other than compensation."
"While I have skills and talents that will transfer, I am new to your industry."
"I'm targeting companies that prefer to promote talent internally."
"The shorter commute will greatly reduce my expenses."
"The schedule fits my home life."
"Your comprehensive benefits will offset some of the disparity in pay."

So, I used versions of these scripts in five interviews and eventually accepted the best of three offers. My ego finally went into hibernation.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, my advice to you is to get your ego and emotions on board with your wallet. If you've achieved something worthwhile in your work history, it's probably not an accident. If it is an accident, you were over-employed and should try to learn something this time around. Assuming you worked hard to get to where you were, trust that you will do it again. Repeat after me, "Success is at the intersection of preparation and opportunity."

Once I allowed myself to go for the job, I was energized. I think I'll even enjoy it! Maybe there'll be no Disney trip this year, but my kids won't miss it. They're too busy talking about the camping trip that found us all huddled under a tarp eating soggy PB&Js when Dad farted and we couldn't escape the smell for the rain! Which experience serves them better later in life? No question.

Thank you, I'll take the job. (Ego, go back to sleep, it's not springtime yet.)

Does this story sound familiar? Tell me what YOU are doing to keep yourself motivated and positive about such disappointing job prospects. Share your tips below.

I was WAY overpaid at my last three positions and I knew it. I thought it was insanely stupid how much money I was being paid to sit on my butt and do next to nothing all day. But even funnier was the market dictated my salary. Throughout my career I spent more time thinking I was underpaid until the last three years.

I was laid off toward the end of last year. There are no jobs in sight in my field. The few that do exist pay about $30,000 less per year than what I was making before. That's just the way it is. My ego tried to deal with that reality for a while and I ended up letting it go by realizing these two things:

One, my wife has a great job and she makes almost what I used to make so things could be worse.

Two, things are changing in the economy. Busiensses are changing the way they do business and the structures of their workforces to be as efficient and cost-effective as possible. Just as the stock market is going through an adjustment, maybe my salary needs to as well.

The result is sure, I'm not going to see that great salary again for a while, but at least now I feel better about going in for an interview at a job that pays a lot less than my last three. There's nothing I can do about it, it's just the way it is. I can still live with that salary, save some money, pay my bills, and that, in the end is fine as long as the work is challenging and meaningful.

This may seem like nothing to most people, but normally I am one bitter dude, and for me to get to this place is a serious achievement. It's about not driving yourself crazy over things you can't control. I never had that big of an ego anyway, but being laid off can bring some things to the surface that you hadn't experienced in a while.

I guess another thing to think about is that this whole thing will bottom out soon. Jobs will come back. Some people out there have been out of work for a few years. If you've been laid off for only a few months, yes, it can seem like everything is crazy and the world is falling apart, but try to remember those who have it worse than you. That's another way to force your ego to take a back seat and quit Sunday drivin'.