Pongo Resume

In this line of work, I get to see lots and lots of resumes. Occasionally I'll see one that's so outstanding it would make a hiring manager weep tears of joy.

On the other end of the spectrum you have the ones that are just … baffling. (Dwight Schrute's resume would fall into the baffling category.)

The resume writer strings together a lot of professional-sounding words, but fails to differentiate her/himself from any other Pat or Chris or Jamie on the street. The resume may seem impressive at first, but then you realize it's not really saying anything. It's like a restaurant that puts on a big fanfare, only to serve you an empty plate.

Want to see what I mean? Below is a professional looking, typo-free resume that does zero, zilch, nada to define the applicant's unique value. It could be describing you, me, or the guy sitting three rows behind you. 

_____________________________

PAT APPLICANT
123 Main Street
Springfield, US  12345
555-444-3333
patapplicant@email.com

OBJECTIVE

A challenging position in a dynamic, growth-oriented organization where creativity and innovation can contribute to the bottom line

SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS

• Experienced professional with broad-based skills developed through education and on-the-job training
• Energetic team player who is equally effective working independently
• Proven record of meeting deadlines and staying within budget
• Outstanding ability to respond to internal or external customer requests
• Exceptional communication and interpersonal skills
• Strong Microsoft Word and other computer skills

WORK HISTORY

September 2005 - Present
Management Assistant
Acme Inc., Springfield, US

• Perform administrative duties in support of upper management
• Assist with all aspects of department operations
• Keep organized records of project status
• Communicate with customers
• Fill in for absent employees

August 2003 - August 2005
Associate
Jones and Sons, Springfield, US

• Completed daily and weekly tasks assigned by direct supervisor
• Collaborated on complex projects
• Discovered ways to streamline inefficient processes
• Acquired greater industry-specific knowledge over time

EDUCATION

2003   Springfield High School, Springfield, US

_____________________________

 OK, I think that's enough to make my point.

This resume may look OK at first glance, but there's no context. It's all generic fluff. The words could have been written by anyone from a bookkeeper to a beekeeper. Exactly what job is this person qualified for? In what field? Manufacturing? Retail? Dry cleaning? Investment banking? Food service? Lifeguarding? We have no idea!

An effective, interview-worthy resume makes it easy for hiring managers to understand where you've worked, what you can do, and how your unique experiences and talents apply to their specific needs.

If your resume looks anything like this useless, generic sample, you'd better adjust your cap and settle in for a looooong job hunt.

Please leave a comment to share your thoughts, experiences, or suggestions about really useless resumes!

Even if the resume had industry specific language how would it stand out from other resumes in the same category? In other words, what “tricks” are there for giving a resume a personality? Are there any?

Can someone make a dry but accurate resume interesting, knowing that being too funny or loose with the wit and creativity could get someone in trouble.

Great question, JJ. I think it boils down to the fact that a resume has one job: to get you an interview.

In order to do that, it doesn't need dazzling personality or wit, it just has to make it easy for readers to see the parallels between their needs and your qualifications.

Toward that end, one of the most important "tricks" is to mimic the wording in the job description.

If they say potato, don't say potahto (until after you're hired).

If they're looking for a QuickBooks user, don't just say you know all the major accounting programs. Use the word QuickBooks.

If they're looking for an Administrative Assistant and you have all the right experience, list your title as Administrative Assistant, even if your current employer calls you a Secretary. (NOTE: This is called being descriptive, and it's very different from lying. It only works if you're doing the same job under a different title.)

Thanks for asking! -- Julie

How does a 62 year old person, who retired early after 33 years with one company, who also had a five year hiatus following retirement write a resume that does not disclose his age?

Well Wayne, you probably can't. And that's OK.

The concept of hiding your age on a resume is more for those in their 40s or 50s, who are directly competing with people in their 20s or 30s for positions with long-term advancement potential.

Forgive me if I'm assuming incorrectly, but at 62, you're probably not looking to get back on the fast-track up a new corporate ladder, so your age is not necessarily putting you at a disadvantage.

As for your resume, try using a Functional format, where you focus on the wealth of skills you bring to the table, rather than a Chronological format, which would emphasize the long stint with one company and the 5-year hiatus.

Click the Resumes link in the left-hand "Topics" list for more information about employment gaps, long stints with one employer, and so on.

Best of luck! -- Julie

As a Human Resources Recruiter I see tons of resume like the one that you described on a daily basis. In addition to being specific about your title " Executive Assistant", take it a step more and list the title of the person that you assisted such as " Executive Assistant for the Vice President of Sales" or "Executive Assistant for the Dean of Student Affairs. This helps HR Managers and recruiters know which area of expertise to place you. The difference in the information that you submit to a prospective employer may help you in finding a better position.

I am an Information Technology Specialist with a work history of military communications, law enforcement communications, applications programming, database administration, and presently systems programming (32 years total). My goal to to secure an Information Technology Specialist position in another section of the agency in the same city government in which I serve presently. I have no work history with regard to the application software utilized (GIS) . However, over the past three years, I have taken advantage of courses (GIS) offered by the city, completed a certificate program offered by the software vendor outside of the job, volunteered in a program that teaches youth GIS skills that is sponsored by the city, attended seminars and conferences and sit on the steering committee. I know my skills are transferable. What is the best approach to author a winning resume given these facts? What is the best resume format for me? Regards, Roger

Stuart: Excellent, excellent suggestion! Once again, it all boils down to making it EASY for the reader to understand how your qualifications match their needs. Thanks!

Roger: Since you're staying within the same agency, you can't get creative in camouflaging your work history. But there are several things I think you can consider that could really help your candidacy.

Use an Objective statement to (very briefly) explain that you want to transfer the extensive IT skills developed in A to the B position.

Use a Summary of Qualifications to pull out and highlight your most relevant and transferable skills (mimicking the language from the job description for your desired position). This is also the place to emphasize that you are GIS-certified and proficient in that application, with 3 years' experience.

Then, do a typical Chronological listing, but edit strategically to remove information that does not apply to the new position.

Near the end, be sure to include your GIS training courses, your GIS Certification (if applicable, include the institution that awarded the certification, plus location, as if it were another educational degree).

And then add a section for your related Professional Activities, where you list the GIS-related memberships, steering committees, and volunteer work.

Best of luck - it sounds like you've done everything right!

--Julie

Be specific. Tell them how you worked independently rather than saying "Energetic team player who is equally effective working independently". State some specific projects that you completed independently. State some of the teams you worked on and what the team achieved!

Within budget! Maybe 100% of the time within budget, now that would impress me. I am tired of an assistant who goes just a "bit" over every time. Those bits add up.

Samantha, Precisely! "Be specific."

A hiring manager who gets a resume with a lot of fluff and generalities is not going to call the applicant for more details.

S/he's going to toss it and move on to the next!

--Julie

yes, this resume really looks great. It is easy to read, simple and "get to the point" type. Thanks